It was a day when I had finally, after years of trying to "save" the men in my life, realized that I deserved so much more. It was a day when I courageously decided to start over, yet again, despite my advancing years. It was a day when I decided that the best way to love myself, was to let go of the man that I loved.
How had it come to this point?
Why had I spent years dating men that didn't deserve me, nor I them?
- Because I didn’t love myself enough to know any better.
- Because I believed that I was loveable when someone needed me, when someone choose me, when someone said, “I love you,” even when they didn’t show me.
- Because I believe that I was worthy based on the level of education I received, the degrees on my wall, the title on my business card, and the numbers in my bank account.
- Because I didn't realize the importance of SELF-LOVE in an other-love relationship.
This lie...this idea that love comes from outside of me, is one that I told myself for years.
It is a lie that I see in many of my clients telling themselves as well.
Last Friday, I was working with a client, who at the age of 67, is still hoping for her deceased mother’s love. I kindly and gently told her that she was no longer a child, and that the job of loving herself came from her. That the job of being compassionate and non-judgmental came from her. That her life and her love was in her hands.
Not her partner.
Not her brother.
Not her boss.
Not her deceased mother.
But from her.
My dear one, the same goes for you (and me too...despite sometimes forgetting.)
Self-love is the best love.