“I don’t want to disappoint my parents,” she said to me.
“Who are you living for, yourself or your parents?” I questioned.
Pause. “Myself, but my sister just moved back in and I don’t want to do the same thing. I don’t want to disappoint them.”
It's a situation that many of us can relate to. Some of us have discovered the truth, while others have yet to figure it out.
When we live in order to not disappoint others, we end up disappointing ourselves.
This conversation made me think of the 3 types of lives that Brendon Burchard describes in his book The Charge.
Second, there is the Comfortable Life. As stated, this life is comfortable. It is neither bad, nor great. It’s just good. Nothing fancy. You go to work, you spend time with family and friends, you do what you need to do, but something is missing. Something is drawing you elsewhere, but you chose not to go there. You stay where you are because it’s comfortable. Why risk it?
Finally, there is the Charged Life. This is a life characterized by high energy, high intensity, and high enthusiasm. It has taken some risks to get you here, but you love everything about it. You are reaching your potential. You are inspired, and inspiring others. You feel alive.
So which life are you leading?
I find it interesting to also think of these three types of lives within the subcomponents of our lives--family, friends, health, work, finances, etc.
If you think of your love life, is it caged, comfortable, or charged?
- Are you single and afraid of being hurt, or are you in a relationship you want to get out of, but don’t want to risk being?
- Are you in a relationship where everyday is pretty much the same as the day before?
- Or, are you in a relationship where you get out and do new things together, experience new places, new people, and bring new energy to the relationship?
If you think of your work life, is it caged, comfortable, or charged?
- Do you dread going to work each day, but feel you “have to” for some reason or another?
- Do you have a comfortable job--neither bad, nor great, but just blah?
- Or, do you have an enriching job that challenges you, and keeps you learning and growing--that you look forward to each day?
If you think about your social life, is it caged, comfortable, or charged?
- Do you go out with the same people and do the same things because someone asks you to?
- Do you have a solid set of friends and enjoy some routines that you enjoy, but think that it is getting a little stale?
- Or, do you continue to encourage your friends to do new things, and also continue to meet new people who will inspire you to live bigger?
What about your health?
What about your financial life?
My move to France definitely gave my life a BIG charge, and now I am trying to continue the momentum as I build my business and meet new people. I am trying to work hard to push myself to continue to grow and not get too comfortable.
As you examine the different areas of your life, ask yourself--am I living caged, comfortable, or charged?
Sometimes the boldest thing you can do is pause long enough to examine your life and ask yourself the tough questions.