- Pain and Stress
- Rejection and Hassles
- Meaninglessness and Unimportance
- Criticism and Ridicule
Got it? What is it?
If you chose Pain and Stress, your personality is represented by the Turtle and your personality is characterized by comfort and avoidance.
If you chose Rejection and Hassle, your personality is represented by a Chameleon, and you are a people-pleaser.
If you chose Meaningless and Unimportance, your personality is represented by a Lion, and you are about feeling superior.
If you chose Criticism and Ridicule, you are an Eagle and you like to have control.
At this point, you are probably wondering what this is all about.
I recently learned about these four personality types called Top Cards, and it intrigued me, so I wanted to share it with you.
I am not normally one to go along with personality tests, as I think they put us into boxes, but this one aligned with work that I had done with my own Life Coach and I found it informative, rather than restrictive.
This work comes from Jane Nelson and Lynn Lott, who are the writers of the Positive Discipline series which I was trained in back when I was a teacher, and am reviewing now, as I start to work with more parents and teens.
Let me give you some more information, so you aren’t just left with knowing your animal, as each personality has it’s own strengths and struggles:
If you are a turtle, you:
- stay within your comfort zone and only do the things you know you can do well
- take the path of least resistance--play it safe
- hide out so people don’t have to see your imperfections
- don’t ask for help--that is a weakness
- are flexible, easygoing, likeable, highly creative, make others feel comfortable
- suffer from boredom and are hard to motivate
- wait to be taken care of instead of being independent
- would benefit from taking more risks, telling others how you feel, sharing your talents
- act friendly, and often say yes and mean no. You give in a lot to avoid conflict.
- try to fix everyone’s problems and make others happy
- complain and feel sorry for yourself
- are sensitive, considerate, loving (when not seeking approval), non-threatening, have lots of friends, can be counted on
- feel resentful when people don’t appreciate you, or know what you want
- lose your sense of self because you are too busy pleasing others
- would benefit from standing up for yourself, spending time alone, asking for help
- put other people down, while doing the same to yourself
- have self-confidence in some regards, but also use it to mask your insecurities
- are hard-working, sometimes taking on too much--driven
- get overwhelmed and overburdened
- disconnect with others because seen as a know-it-all or being rude/insulting
- never happy because you set the bar for yourself and others too high
- would benefit from showing gratitude, looking for solutions rather than blame, show an interest in others, be open and understanding
- hold back, boss others, organize, argue, do it yourself, hide your feelings, etc
- are a good leader in a crisis
- are assertive, persistent, well-organized, and productive
- lack spontaneity and are socially and emotionally distant
- invite power-struggles and get defensive
- are critical and fault-finding
- would benefit from reminding yourself that you don’t control others, thinking about what you want and need, listen instead of getting defensive, delegate
If you are like me, you probably find yourself relating to more than one animal. For me, though, I find that one animal is more representative of who I am when I am feeling stressed, worried, or afraid. With that said, though, I know that there are other times when I do the opposite. This isn’t a cookie cutter way of being, by any means.
When we are feeling anxious, afraid, or stressed, our defense mechanisms kick in and those defense mechanisms are most aligned with the animal that you found above.
Some of us hide like a turtle, some of us change colors like a chameleon, some of us fight like a lion, and some of us soar above the action, but swoop down to influence what is going on.
I have found that knowing my defense mechanisms and reactions to stress, allow me to better behave in those moments. If I find myself on the attack (sometimes just inside my own head), I know that there is something underlying going on that I need to explore. I know that I am feeling stressed, threatened, or otherwise anxious.
When we can name it, we can tame it.
This self-awareness has completely shifted how I am with people.
How can you use this knowledge to change your reactions to stressful people or situations?