I know, it’s a strange question. Let me explain.
Most of us think that once we have this particular thing, we can do this other thing, and then finally be something else.
Our lives have become this:
“If I had a better body, then I could start dating, and finally find love.”
“If I had a sexy car, then I could look sexy myself, and finally feel confident.”
“If I had a Harvard MBA, then I could start my own business, and finally be successful.”
“If I had more time, then I could write a book, and finally feel a sense of accomplishment.”
The problem with this line of thinking and acting is that we are basing too much on something external. Our feelings are based on something outside of ourselves.
The other problem is that when our happiness (or success, or confidence) is tied to something external, that something will only provide happiness for a short time, and then you need to find another external source to provide the same feelings.
It’s like a drug. The high only lasts so long and then you need more of it, or a different drug to keep the feeling going.
Instead, we need to live in the other direction.
When we start with how we want to feel, instead of what we want to have, we have so much more power. We can create possibilities from within, rather than wait for something external.
It also allows us to start “doing” more quickly because we don’t have to wait for the money, or the degree, or the house, or the body.
You don’t need the high paying job and house to be happy.
You don’t need the Harvard MBA to be successful.
You don’t need the sexy car to feel confident.
You don’t need the ideal body to find love.
You don’t need more time to feel a sense of accomplishment.
Now it's your turn:
If you find yourself living an “if..then” life, then you might be living backwards. I urge you to flip things around.
Stop thinking about what you don’t have, and start with what you do have instead.
Life starts from who you are not what you have.