I have met many people over the years who complain about their jobs endlessly. They aren’t feeling fulfilled. They aren’t happy. They are exhausted. They are stressed. They talk often about the “golden handcuffs,” and they never leave. Why?
Why do we stay in jobs that we don’t love?
Quitting your job is hard. It’s scary. It’s nerve-wracking. It’s any number of things.
I think it’s important to think critically about leaving, but I think it’s equally important to reflect on why you are staying in the first place.
I am sure you are thinking, “What the hell does it mean to live your life backwards?”
I know, it’s a strange question. Let me explain.
Most of us think that once we have this particular thing, we can do this other thing, and then finally be something else.
Our lives have become this:
Did you read last week’s blog post? If you did or didn’t, not to worry. When you have a moment, you can find it here.
As a coach, I try not to give advice, but spend most of my client sessions asking questions and reflecting back what my clients say. The end goal is that my clients are finding their own solutions and taking action based on their choice(s), not my advice. Yes, I sometimes teach my clients various things, but what they do with that learning is completely up to them.
I have mostly been taking the same approach with my blog posts as well--writing about a coach-like topic and then leaving you, the reader, with lots of questions to think about.
Are those posts and questions valuable?
I hope so.
This week, instead of just philosophising and asking questions, I am going to actually give you something concrete to do.
Last week, I talked about how I used to wear my exhaustion like it was a badge of honor and that I didn’t feel good about myself unless I was busy and always doing, achieving, or succeeding. I encouraged you to think about your own exhaustion and if you were also wearing it like a badge of honor. I left you with these questions:
Today, I am going to give you my unsolicited advice on what to do if you are exhausted. Even if you aren’t exhausted, this is still good advice (not that I am biased or anything.)
Do you ever ask someone how they are doing and get a rambling of every single thing that they did that day? You’re exhausted just listening to them. Finally, at the very end, they say it themselves, “I am so exhausted.”
The next time you see them, you get a slightly different version of the same exhaustive tale. It’s almost like they are a hamster on a wheel that just keeps going around and around.
Maybe that exhausted person is you. It used to be me.