You know those books that you pick up and then just can’t put down. Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist was one of those books. The book is a collection of stories about life around the table. It is about food, but it more about life, with all its ups, downs, ins, and outs. Shauna shares herself in a way that really allows you to see inside of her, while also seeing inside of yourself. I connected with her on a very deep level, despite the fact that I have never met her.
This post is going to be a little different than most, because instead of sharing my words, I am going to share hers. Here is some of what she had to say:
“The extra pounds didn’t matter, as I look back, but the shame that came with those extra pounds was like an infectious disease. That’s what I remember. And so these days, my mind and my heart are focused less on the pounds and more on what it means to live without shame, to exchange that heavy and corrosive self-loathing for courage and freedom and gratitude. Some days I do just that, and some days I don’t, and that seems to be just exactly how life is.” (pg 37)
I urge you to buy the book or check it out from the library. In addition to the stories, there are fabulous recipes throughout. I laughed and cried off and on during the entire reading, and started again when I picked it up to write this post. It is a must read, especially for women. It is truth-telling and vulnerability like you haven’t experienced it before.
For the past couple of weeks I have been thinking about social drinking and wondering why it is that I, in particular, tend to drink more when I am out with friends than I would at home. Normally I don’t really drink at home, but when I am in social situations I have a couple of glasses of wine or beer. Usually, I never drink hard alcohol, but for my bachelorette party and my 30th birthday I actually did shots. Why?
Is it social pressure? Is there really still peer pressure to drink when we are in our 30s, 40s, and beyond? Is it the desire to connect with others, and do what they are doing? Is it so that I don’t feel different or weird? Am I worried about how I look, or if someone is going to think I am pregnant? (Which someone just asked me the other day when I said no to a drink.)
A couple of weeks ago, I was out with friends and actually went to the bartender and asked him if he could make me a virgin cocktail so that it would look like I was drinking, even though I didn’t want to. Then I paid for it right then, so that our bill wouldn’t say “Virgin blah-blah.” When I mentioned this to a friend of mine, she said she does something similar. When she is going out to the bars with friends, she gets there early and orders a ginger ale and pretends it’s a double something-or-other.
I mean, really?