No weapons needed.
It was simply my EGO versus her EGO.
She was competent.
She was smart.
She was well-educated.
I was also competent, smart, and well-educated.
You would think that would bring us together, but it did not.
Although we shared a lot in common, there were a few differences that seemed to stand out amongst the rest.
She was a big picture person.
I was more detail-oriented.
She thought rules were flexible.
I thought rules were meant to be followed.
Her go-to line was, “How can we spin this?”
To me that was just a cover for lying.
This is how we got so stuck.
Our core values didn’t align.
We got so stuck in “My values are the right values” that we couldn’t come together.
Our commitment to being right, and thinking our values were “right”, overshadowed our commitment to making our relationship work for the betterment of the staff and the people we served.
Even though I talked about how I wanted my work situation to change, what I really wanted was to be acknowledged for having the better value system.
In retrospect, it seems so silly.
I quit a job I loved, and a career of 12 years because I was more committed to being right, than I was committed to finding common ground with my boss.
What about you?
If you aren’t getting what you want at work, what hidden commitments are standing in your way?